Being a Birthmother Around the Holidays

As a birthmother, we know the holiday season can be difficult. We see images of smiling families celebrating the holidays everywhere, and it’s tough to visualize the baby you placed for adoption with another family.  The good news is you can (and will) get through this time and thrive. 

Here are some tips for being a birthmother during the holiday season:

1. Embrace the Emotions

You may feel like you gave up your baby for adoption, but it’s important to realize you gave your baby a gift of being with a family who  can take care of them. You may also take solace knowing you’ve given the gift of a baby to a family who probably couldn’t have a baby otherwise. You have made an incredible sacrifice, so by no means, did you “give up your baby for adoption.” You gave your baby every chance to a good life. It is important to allow yourself to grieve though. Even if placing your baby for adoption was your choice, it is still ok to recognize the loss. 

2. Enjoy the Holidays! 

Don’t feel guilty when you realize you’ve laughed and had a great time with friends and family. It’s beneficial to you as a birthmother to enjoy the season and embrace the relationships you have with the people you love.

3. Take Care of Yourself

If you are feeling sad or stressed after placing your baby for adoption, don’t forget to take time for yourself. Get a pedicure, enjoy a favorite sweet, give yourself some time to just be and do something that serves you.

4. Start a Tradition with the Child You Placed for Adoption

If you have an open adoption, try to do something to honor your child during the holiday season. You could send them a special gift or ornament. If your open adoption includes visits, take some time to see the child. Knowing they are happy and healthy may help you feel good about the choice you made to place your baby for adoption. 

5. Remember, You are not Alone

There are many people in your shoes, and sometimes, it helps to know your feelings are shared by other birthmothers. Consider reaching out to those women who can share their experience.  Check out organizations like BirthMom Buds for support. If you feel so overwhelmed, you can always reach out to your adoption caseworker. We are here to help! 

Remember you did not give up your baby for adoption; You gave your baby a chance for a life of health and happiness. Contact us anytime to talk. 

Best wishes for a peaceful holiday season!