As a woman who chose adoption for her baby, the holidays can be difficult. Besides the obvious lack of a child to celebrate the season with, it’s hard to feel festive and fun when you aren’t the person who is with your child for the festive moments. The holidays can be a time where you really feel the emotions of choosing adoption for your baby.
We are here to let you know it’s ok to be sad and recognize the loss. Addressing the issue head on will help you move forward.
Here are some tips to help you navigate the season:
• Be sad. Even if placing your child for adoption was your choice, it is still a major life-changing decision. It’s perfectly normal and even helpful to be sad and mourn the loss.
• Take notice of the happiness you feel when you’re doing things with friends and family. Choosing adoption was a big choice, but it doesn’t have to consume your every thought and feeling. When you’re doing something fun and feeling good, embrace it! You deserve the have happy times!
• If you have an open relationship with the family who adopted your child, make it a point to create a memory for your child that’s special for the two of you. You could give him or her a gift or if you and the family are open to it, schedule a special dinner or celebration to honor the holiday season together. If you have a closed adoption, you could create your own tradition to honor your child in your own life.
• Remember you are not alone! There are so many women in your shoes and with Internet chat rooms or local support groups, you can find women who have chosen adoption for their child. It helps to know you are not the only one who is experiencing these feelings of loss.
• Remember above all else, you did not “give up your baby for adoption” or ‘put up your baby for adoption,” you made the best possible choice for you and your child and you gave your child the ultimate gift of having a family that is equipped to care for your child.
A Baby Step Adoption offers lifetime support to our birthmothers. If you feel overwhelmed with sadness this season, we are here to help. Contact your adoption caseworker or call us at 888-505-2367.
We wish you the most peaceful holiday season!